Real Life Catch Phrases

I go thru these phases where I start using a particular word or phrase heavily. For instance, lately it has been “Little bit”.

“You hungry?”

“Little bit.”

“Wow, that movie sucked!”

“Little bit.”

It’s fun, and works in almost every situation. Apparently it just edged out “Not so much” from my vocabulary. I do this every once in a while. Pick up a phrase and run it into the ground. My life is a Sit-com, and it’s on the WB. Tedious and not many laughs.

Am I strange? Am I crazy?

Little bit…

JHO

We are so screwed...

Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird (.907)

WEEK OF JUNE 26, 2005

Leading Economic Indicators

North Carolina correctional officials began rethinking inmate manufacturing programs recently when they discovered that, even though they pay prisoners only $3 a day in their T-shirt-making concession, suppliers in Bangladesh can make the shirts for 38 percent less. [New York Daily News, 6-4-05]

Squeezing the Sponge

            Some poor girl in my office asked me today, during lunch, what kind of books I like to read.

            Poor girl, she never saw it coming.

            I was sitting by myself reading “Neutron Star” by Larry Niven. A book my big brother John gave to me some 20 years ago. I ran across it last night and decided to read it again (This will probably make 6 or 7 times).

            “What kind of books to do you read?”

            Suffice it to say, I talked for the rest of the lunch hour. By the time I was done her head was spinning, but on the up-side, she now knows why the sky is blue. I was in full pedantic mode. I never quite realize how much stuff is in my head until somebody asks me a question and I give an encyclopedic answer. I’m not trying to be a “Know-it-all”. I like to read a lot and I tend to retain a lot of information.

            Out of the blue last night, talking to Tony, I found myself giving a synopsis of Ronnie James Dio’s Heavy Metal career. Huh? Why do I know all this stuff? Just picked it up here and there and finally put it all in order. Oh?

            Am I holding a conversation of giving a lecture?

            I gotta cut back on the coffee at work…

 

JHO

           

A Year of Theater

            I was going thru old e-mails last night (My exciting life), and found one that I had sent to John Beane. In the message, I told John that I hadn’t acted in a long time (2 and a half years) and was looking to get back into it. I was practically begging.

            The sent date was June 22^nd, 2004.

            Wow. Really? Has it been only a year?

            September was “The Importance of Being Earnest” at the Muck for the Orange County Theater Festival

            October was “Madam Guignol’s Macabre Theater: Hellhouse” at the Hunger Artists

            December was “Last Chance Festival” & “Searching for Americana”, both at Hunger Artist

            January was “Othello”

            March, “Marat.Sade”

 

            Holy Crap. 6 shows. Well, five and a half, The Last Chance we did in a week. I haven’t been this busy since college.

            Life has changed a lot in the last year (as any of you who have read this Blog must be aware), but it has improved in a lot of ways. I have a place where I feel like I belong. I have more friends than before. There are people who feel they can count on me, which might be the sweetest thing of all. After a Decade of Slack, I feel like I’m starting to be the person that I want to be, the one I know I can be.

            I post a lot of dark depressing stuff up here, but it’s not all like that. When I’m feeling good, I don’t write. Isn’t that strange?

            So, thank you, John Beane

            Thank you, Kelly Flynn

            Thank you, Kim Fisher

            Thank you, Katie Chidester

            Thank you, Glendele Way-Agle

            Thank you, Shannon Flynn

            Thank you again, Glen (I think you get me…)

 

            And the rest of you Band of Rogues, Thank you for a wild, chaotic year.

            I can’t wait to see what the next one will be like…

 

            JHO

Unbelievable...

            She called me last night to talk about working it out.

            Huh?

            Basically, she laid it all at my feet. It’s all up to me, it always has been. I just need to show some effort. Apparently, I need to take responsibility for my part in all this.

            Needless to say, I was speechless.

            Her unerring ability to deflect responsibility is beyond the scope of my meager wordsmithing talents to describe to you. Suffice it to say that, she told me she never wanted this and it’s been my decision all along.

            She kicked me out. She told me she doesn’t want me to come back. And somehow, it was me all along.

            I was flabbergasted. There comes a point when the mind can no longer allow the shit to be shoveled into any more.

            “Well, what do you have to say?”

            “Whatever you want. Everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie, so why should I say anything.”

 

            I felt so,,,

            Numb.

            Shouldn’t I cry? Grip my chest in pain? Something?

            After I got off the phone I just stared at the ceiling, in disbelief.

            Marriage Counseling? Did she actually tell me that we should go to marriage counseling? What is it exactly that I haven’t done? I have bent over backwards. I have taken more abuse in the last 3 years than any man should have to take in a lifetime. And why? To prove my love? To prove how strong I can be?

            Proving what a fool I have been.

            And now, this. It’s all my fault. Right.

            I give up.

            Whatever you say…

 

JHO

 

My Vacation

Howdy all,

            I’m taking my first week’s vacation starting next week. Really it starts when I get off work Friday. It looks like I will be staying home. Got no dough, so I can’t go anywhere. It’s just as well. I’m looking forward to having no responsibilities for nine days.

            Of course, I have Stu’s wedding on Saturday and Work Day at the Hunger Artist on Sunday, but AFTER that, I’m free to lounge around in my living room for a week. Sound boring? That’s kind of the point. I’ve been running around like a madman for far too long. Working. Rehearsing. Acting. Moving. I’m just tired.

            I’ll probably spend my time watching DVDs (No cable or antenna for the TV) or playing on my computer (No Internet). Maybe I’ll do some work on that bad One-Act play I wrote. It could use it.

            Of course that will all change if my freakin’ Tax Return comes in. It’s fat. And it’s late.

            It’s so aggravating. I know I’ve got this money coming and in the meantime it’s Peanut Butter & Jelly for lunch.

            Well, Avid Readers, I should probably get back to work

            Until we meet again…

 

            JHO